Thursday, January 29, 2009

archived: wedding in review - ceremony & vows

I still haven't written about a few of my favorite things about our wedding. So I decided to get back on the wedding review bandwagon. Maybe someday I'll even get around to editing and *gasp* posting our video!

Although it was important that everything about our wedding was personalized to us or represent our personalities, this was of utmost importance when it came to writing our ceremony. First things first... the songs. It was so important that we had songs that were special as we all walked down the aisle.

To start I had the DJ play old, recognizable songs while guests were arriving and being seated - this gave kind of a warm, relaxed atmosphere.

The first song that Dr. Klug, Grant, and his best man - Joel walked in to was Green Eyes by Coldplay. Grant's Grandmothers and both of our mothers were also escorted down the aisle to this song. OH how I love that song. I just watched that part of our video... i SO want you to see it. But its long. really long.

Ok. Anyway. My bridesmaids and our adorable flowergirl and ringbearer walked down to Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Also SO good. Of course I love these songs with my whole heart or they wouldn't have been chosen.. but you should go listen. For me. Just do it.

Last was me. After a lot of tears, arguing, and drama I was walked down the aisle by both of my dads. First my stepdad (from the door of the building to the end of the aisle) and then by my dad. We walked down the aisle to the song that Grant and I call 'our song' - God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. Obviously a perfect choice.

As I alluded to above - I originally wanted to walk down the aisle alone. I didn't like the idea of someone giving me away. No one had made this choice for me so why should someone symbolically give me away? As I talked about before - time went on and I learned that other people had dreams and expectations about this day too. And it was important to honor those - if for no other reason than to stay on good terms. So it came to be that both of my dads escorted me down the aisle (and both danced the father daughter of my most hated wedding traditions.. too). I had one condition... my dad was not to say he was giving me away, but that "She gives of herself with our love and our blessing". Sound familiar? It was what Nora said when she gave Kitty away on Brothers and Sisters! (around minute 2:35)

As I've mentioned before we started our ceremony planning by getting someone we admired and respected and knew personally to agree to marry us. Dr. Klug was so perfect. I wish I had a transcript of what he said... the video will be good for that (whenever i get it up...). We gave him free rein to say whatever he felt was right in the intro and in between the traditional vows, rings, etc. We did ask him to include an acknowledgment of how aware we are of the fact that our marriage is only as strong as the support we get from each other and our families and friends. That part was really special.

Toward the beginning of the ceremony two of my best friends - Jill & Teresa - read the only poem I really know and love. I Carry Your Heart by EE Cummings. I read that along time ago in the book In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner

Next up were our vows. I cry every time I read them. They are below...

Grant to Nicole

while writing these vows, i've had trouble composing something that would do justice to the way i feel. i usually have fun being wordy when i write, and trying to make things sound as elegant or professional as possible. however, in this situation, the topic could not be more serious, and it seems to treat this like any other bit of writing i've done would serve to belittle the importance of these vows, and of what these vows represent. therefore, i have written only 3 words on this paper (in addition to this).

these three words are: love, loyalty, and support. these 3 words will form the foundation of my life long promise to you. forever and ever, i promise to love you, be loyal to you, and to be supportive of you. so far as i can tell, this much should be enough to get us 'most of the way' through. beyond that, i am confident in our ability to work together and figure the rest out, as we have done successfully up to this point. i love you.

Nicole to Grant


You are the love of my life. I still can’t believe that we are standing here today and that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to burn this day in my memory – keeping it as a reminder of our love and commitment.

There are so many things to say and not enough words to say them. It is the smallest things that make me love you. It is those same things that inspire me, making me want to be a better version of myself.

You are goofy and witty – you make me laugh. There was this day when we were first dating. You left a peeled orange on my doorstep with a note that read ‘navel oranges have no seeds.’ So simple, but I will never forget how giddy it made me.

Another time, early on – we were sitting at turtles and you told me you were ‘really into this’ – it wasn’t the first time you were open and communicative with me. But all I could muster in reply was ‘ditto.’ And that was enough. You were ok with what I could offer you. You were (and continue to be) so patient with me.

You love me – period. I love you too. The love you have given me and continue to give inspires these vows.

I promise to continue loving you with my whole heart, as you are my greatest confidant, lover, and friend.

I promise to stand by your side for the rest of our lives, remembering that there will be bad along with the good.

I promise to be patient with our differences and remember what you’ve taught me – it’s the small things that count.

I promise to listen to and support your hopes and dreams, making them my own.

I promise to try harder to stay fit and healthy so that we may age gracefully together.

I promise to remember how ‘happy’ feels and express when I need help.

I promise to create a family and home with you that is warm, creative, and fun.

I promise to laugh with you always and let you warm your nose in my cheek.

I promise to love you all the days of my life and be with you even after I die.

Remember – you are the love of my life.

I look forward to a future of funny faces in the mirror, endless laughter, and daily emails ending in ‘love you, me’

After our vows (I was really trying to hold it together at that point) we did our exchange of rings - it was really simple and kind of corny, but very us. We each said "Take this ring as a symbol of how much I heart you"

At the end of the ceremony I asked Dr. Klug to announce us very specifically - "I know pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may kiss the bride" just like that. I know its not different than what most people say, but I didn't want Man and Wife (hate that) or anything else it had to be the same as how I married my barbies off as a kid. Of course, I got caught up in the moment and kissed Grant before he said the you may kiss the bride part!

And that was the end - we walked back up the aisle to All You Need is Love by Lynden David Hall (from Love Actually) and were showered by the dried lavender I included in the back of the programs.

wow. this is a monster post! it is my 300th post though! exciting huh??

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